Wednesday, October 27, 2010

There's a Rain Cloud Hanging Over My Head

I feel sort of guilty that I haven't been blogging very much lately. I told myself when I started blogging that I would never apologize if I went through a lull in my writing. But I'm the kind of person who feels the need to rationalize all of my shortcomings. To be honest, I'm just not feeling inspired to write. I'm going through an internal struggle and it has really affected my ability to be positive. The main reason that I blog is to promote positivity, so I feel guilty for writing about any of my negative thoughts. And while being positive all the time would be ideal, I think it's an unrealistic expectation that I have of myself. 

I've been struggling with a depression that has haunted me ever since I found out that I have a chronic illness that will NEVER GET BETTER. Obviously I'm not depressed all the time. I just struggle with the days when I realize that my crumminess isn't going away. I have never fully explained my illness to my readers because I'm a very private person when it comes to my health. I have started writing about my disease many times, but I always end up erasing what I have written. I would love to be the kind of person who can put themselves out there completely, but I'm just not capable of that kind of honesty. I would love to be the kind of person who isn't anxious and afraid ALL THE TIME, but I've hidden behind these walls for far too long to change.

I feel uncomfortable talking about my illness because of some of my childhood issues. I have convinced myself that no one cares. I sometimes imagine that people think that I'm just craving attention. It's been difficult opening up to my boyfriend about my illness. I know that he feels frustrated when I refuse to ask for help or let him take care of me. I'm just afraid of the what-if's. What if he thinks it's ridiculous that I'm constantly ill? What if he resents my illness? What if he starts to think that all I want to attention?

I really want to get out of my depression right away, but I think it's going to take some time before I feel like myself again. I just need some time and patience. 

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sending Positive Thoughts Your Way

 This quote is one of my absolute favorites! 

I wanted to share it with you and wish you a very TERRIFIC THURSDAY!
Sending you tons of positive energy and warm fuzzies!!
Hope you have a million reasons to smile today! =D

♥ you!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Little Reminder! Best Friends Make Life Worth It

Best Friends Make Life Worth It  

I'm really missing my besties right now. They are living far away in different cities. I'm such a clingy friend sometimes. I want the people I love to always be near me. 

My best friends fill my life with all sorts of wonderfulness. They make my heart smile and fill me up with joy. My heart is bursting with love for them! 

"Friendship is born at the moment when on person says to another: "What? You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis

Lauren and I met when we were freshman in marching band. We became really close when we pledged for a sorority together. Lauren is one of my favorite people in the entire world. She always knows how to make me smile and laugh. We have a million inside jokes between us. She is the one person who can finish my sentences, understand me when I'm bawling my eyes out, and know what I'm thinking from one shared expression. I love Lauren because she is a very generous person. She always has time for the people in her life, and she makes all of her friends feel important. Lauren just got engaged recently, and I'm so happy for her.  It makes me happy to know that she has found someone to love and accept her for who she is.  I cannot wait to help her with all the wedding plans. Love you, Lovely Lauren!

Brittany and I also met in marching band during our freshman year in college. We have always been flute sisters since our friendship started. We love to get together to play flute duets. Brittany and I have had many adventures together. We both love to go exploring together. Brittany is a such a good listener, and her advice is always helpful. Some of our conversations are among my favorites. Brittany is a very strong and determined person. I have always admired her strong will and courage. Brittany just married her best friend this past summer. It makes me feel special to have been there with her since day one of her relationship with her husband. I'm so happy that she has someone to take care of her and support her. Love you, Brittany!

Tell me about your best friend, Love
I would love to hear all about them!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Being Inspired!

"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be." ~Patanjali

What Inspires Me!


★ Bubbles

★ Owls

★ The Moon

★ Cherry Blossoms

★ Hearts

★ Balloons

★ Baking

★ Origami

★ Fairy Lights

★ Clouds

★ Photography

★ Old Victorian Houses

★ A warm cup of tea

★ Baby Animals

★ Hippos

★ Yellow Flowers

What Inspires you, Lovelies??


Monday, October 11, 2010

Little Reminder

Thinking positively and sending you lots of positive vibes!


Saturday, October 9, 2010

Jealousy Hurts

(via tumblr)
I've been thinking a lot about jealousy lately. I've been in several relationships where jealousy ruined what positive feelings I had towards the other person. I've dealt with jealous friends and co-workers before. I've felt that unjustified jealousy bubble up inside me towards a talented friend or acquaintance. I think that jealousy is an extremely complicated emotion. And a little bit of it definitely goes a long way.

The thing about jealousy that really gets me is how sneaky it can be. Have you ever felt negativity toward someone without even realizing that you were jealous?? I definitely have. I think that it's very easy to envy someone who is successful or happy rather than supporting and praising them for their accomplishments.

I believe that jealousy is toxic in relationships. I know that a lot of people say that a little jealousy is good in any relationship, but I don't agree. I think of jealousy like a forest fire. It starts out as a little flame and soon the entire forest has burned down in a blaze. I'm not saying that you aren't going to feel jealous, but I believe that it's not fair to the other person in your relationship if you make them feel bad for your own insecurities. I think that the best way to approach your jealousy is to analyze why you are feeling jealous in the first place. There is always a good reason deep down why you are feeling jealous. It's just hard to see sometimes when you're feeling that awful pull on your stomach and the bubbling jealousy emerges.

 I also think that it's not necessary to always share your jealous thoughts with your significant other. I know that some people feel the need to talk out all of their worries and problems, but constantly hearing that your significant other is jealous starts to get old. Jealousy also brings up serious trust issues that you may not be ready to deal with. A lot of times, it's easier to analyze and deal with your trivial jealousy on your own without burdening your partner. If you constantly tell them that this or that made you jealous, they will start to feel responsible for the jealousy. On the other hand, if it's a serious jealousy issue it might be necessary to talk it over with your partner. I think it's important to do a lot of thinking and analyzing prior to discussing your problems. You don't want to jump into a discussion with a lot of irrational insecurities fueling your argument. That will just turn your discussion into an argument and could hurt your partners feelings.

All of these thoughts about jealousy have made me ask myself: why do we get jealous in the first place??

And there isn't a simple answer to that. It's complicated and it's different for every person. For me, my jealousy comes from my fear of being inadequate. I struggle with jealousy at times when I meet someone who has talents or ambitions that are similar to mine. I have become very aware that my jealousy stems from my own issues and doesn't have anything to do with the people in my life. That has helped me to deal.

One thing about jealousy that really bothers me is how it cause women to hate each other. Women are so mean to one another, and we don't always realize that we are doing it. It's been wired into our brains by society. If you meet a women who seems to have it all, there are probably a ton of women who hate her because they are jealous of what they think she has that they don't. While this way of thinking is the norm, I just can't condone it in my life. I want to support, encourage, and praise all the women in my life when they succeed. If you think about it, a lot of times when someone treats your badly or doesn't like you, it's because they are jealous of you. How stupid is that? Really? It's sad to think that a lot of relationships and friendships have been ruined because of something as stupid as jealousy.

What are your thoughts on jealousy, Love?

Do you have any advice on how to deal with it??


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Hello October!

I know that I'm a little late, but

Hello October!!

I'm so glad that October is finally here!! It's probably one of my favorite months!! 

I'm absolutely loving Janel's 'I Heart Fall' Class! It's been a really good source of stress relief for me!
I've been journaling at my own pace because I can easily stress myself out over nothing. 

I seriously heart fall ♥!

Here's some of what I've done so far:

What do you love most about Fall, Lovelies???

Monday, October 4, 2010

Little Reminder! Just Wanted to Remind You That...

(via weheartit)

So don't forget it, Lovely!

Have a WONDERFUL week!!!

Sending you lots of positive energy!