Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Learning Self Love

As I have mentioned in an earlier post, I am participating in Gala Darling's month of Radical Self Love. I have yet to write a post on this subject because I wanted to let all of my thoughts percolate for a little while. Now that the month of RSL is almost over, I want to share some of my thoughts and experiences with you.

 My Radical Self Love Bible has been a very close friend of mine this past month. At first, I used it to jot down an inspiring quote or passage. Then I started writing letters to myself filled with praise and compliments. At first, it was difficult to write positive things about myself. But it got easier the more often that I wrote. I composed myself love letters with the mindset I would take when praising a best friend. Honest words filled with lots of love.  Now, I really cannot imagine a day without my little Self Love Bible. It is a wonderful place to journal, vent, and doodle.

I'm starting to realize that I was never taught to love myself as a child. Love others, yes, but not myself. And the concept is very foreign to me at times. I need a constant reminder to continue to love myself through all of life's ups and downs. My Self Love Totem is this Hello Kitty plushie that my older sister bought me for Valentine's Day. Hello Kitty is holding a little pink heart, which reminds me of the love I have for myself. I carry her around in my handbag.  If I ever have/adopt children, I want to teach them self love. I think that a child knows self love instinctually, but it is often forgotten or pushed aside. I wish that my younger self had been told to always love herself no matter what others say or do.  That self love is more important than being accepted by others.

 Self love is a constant battle with that inner critic who loves to make you feel awful about yourself. But that critic is a part of you and those negative thoughts are your thoughts. So why not envision a positive self love critic who can counter the negative thoughts with positive and self-love-reaffirming ones. Picture your self love critic in a dazzling frock and shiny accessories who always smiles at you and cheers you on!

For me, self love is about acceptance. We are always constantly changing mentally and physically. It's easy to yearn to be who you used to be, but that person is long gone. Love the person you are right now in the present moment. You aren't always going love and adore every aspect of yourself, but you should try to accept those things and appreciate that they are a part of who you are right now.

It really hurts my heart to hear a friend or family member talk about themselves with such negative words. I know that they would never say things like that to me or anyone they love, so why is it ok to speak about themselves like that? Honestly, it's not ok. But I know that learning to love yourself is never going to be easy for anyone. So we have to help each other and be good examples for one another. If one of your friends calls herself fat and ugly, gently reprimand her and explain how destructive those words are. The times that I have caught myself being abusive and practicing self-hate, I assign myself some self-love penance. It can be anything positive like writing a poem about how lovely you are or going for a walk outside to let the wind take away all of your negativity. One time when I was being particularly nasty to myself, I decided to assign myself an entire day filled with self-love activities. And it made me feel so wonderful, which is the purpose of self-love penance!

I have decided that Radical Self Love Month is going to be Radical Self Love Year for me! I need more time to learn and love.

What are some ways that you practice self love?
How do you overcome self hatred?

Lovelies, don't let me catch you being mean to yourselves or you will be assigned some self-love penance ;)

 OH!! I wanted to show you my lovely valentines! I participated in Lindsay's Valentine Swap and these are all the lovely valentines I received! I was so excited about it that I made a card display for them!! It is not coming down anytime soon! Looking at all the cute cards makes my heart happy!!

I hope you are having a wonderful week!! Hang in there and remember that you are beautiful and super fabulous!

Don't forget that I love you!!

10 Quirky Comments:

Evelyn said...

This post made my day! Thanks a lot for writing it. I really needed to read this, I need something to snap me out of the state I'm in.

You are a dear! Thanks!

lexih said...

I just wanted to say how much I love your blog. You're so positive & happy & you made my day brighter! I'll definitely be stopping by more often!

Costume Queen said...

I don't comment on other blogs often because I never know what to say, but let me just tell you that I read every new post on yours.

It seems whenever I'm feeling depressed or self-loathing, visiting your blog helps lessen and sometimes even destroy these feelings. So, thank you for keeping such a positive, uplifting, encouraging blog. It is greatly appreciated. =)

bananas. said...

"self love is about acceptance"...

yup. nailed it right there. i remind myself this every day.

chelsea rebecca said...

i love that first photo!
this brightened my day!

Beth said...

I read Gala Darling's posts all month (well, i follow her blog, but this month was different) with a fine tooth comb, writing down ideas, quotes & thoughts. I didn't think too much about it at the time, but subconsciously I noticed how much more confident I had become.

I'm applying to graduate school & have been putting off writing my essay, since its all about why you want to go to this college & what you can bring to the table. After almost a month of positive thoughts, I banged out a great essay! Self Love is so important & its wonderful seeing how this girl (Gala) inspired others to stop criticzing themselves & start loving them.

Alexandra Mason said...

What a great post. I'm such a positive person when it comes to other people, but often very negative towards myself, which is something i'm going to try and change xx

cris (cristal) said...

i like this post (:makes me feel loved i will try and love myself more each day.


parTea lady said...

I enjoyed reading your post on self love. Great advice. If we were taught this (and practiced it) we wouldn't have the horrible lack of self esteem that is rampant with so many women.

Belittling yourself gets to be a habit after a while. How many times have I berated myself over mistakes or some aspect of my appearance. Thanks for the wakeup call.

Leah said...

Awwww Jacque, I really love you girl. You are always a positive inspiration.

The self-love journal is awesome. And you are right, self-love boils down to acceptance.

Have a great day! xoxo

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